An Age Old Question: Taking the Plunge

Today's question comes to us from James, via the nerdfighter forum thread. James asks:

Should I take the plunge and risk losing her as a friend? Or should I just wait it out and enjoy every day I have with her.

This is actually the question that I get the most. And actually, this is probably the one time where I'm going to cite a romantic comedy in terms of advice.

So, in Valentine's Day, Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Garner get together, even if they're best friends. In the end, their kiss is REALLY awkward, but like, it gets better. That's sort of the way things are with this situation.

That whole idea about "ruining things" and "making things awkward"? Generally not true. Most of the successful relationships I know of start between two best friends. You have to be friends with your significant other. It's a fact.

Also, if you're attracted to your best friend/friend, ze probably IS attracted to you to. If you sense something, ZE senses IT TOO.

I don't know where the idea of "ruining a friendship" came from. I just think it's crap--you SHOULD be friends with the person you're dating. You can't expect things to work out with a person you just approached and didn't know, right? Do it.

I mean, I've talked about the C.H.A.R.M method below. You can tell if a person likes you back.

And afterwards, if it doesn't work out? If that person is truly your friend, you guys will STAY friends. I don't care how nervous you are--man up, take the plunge and express yourself. Bottled up emotions will just get awkward as hell, and possibly ruin the friendship. What if she finds someone else? Hrmmmm? What if she starts dating another boy, because she thought you didn't like her? Wouldn't that be disastrous?

I know I'm being pretty harsh. The thing is, I've been in that exact situation so many times, where a guy I really liked just didn't tell me he liked me, and then I ended up dating someone else because I thought "well ok, that's never going to happen." And the first guy ALWAYS mans up too late--like, he'll tell me when I'm perfectly happy, and suddenly, he'll throw a wrench in the relationship. I hate having to choose between two people like that, and nobody should have to be in that position. It makes things even more dramatic for people.

You can avoid so much pain by just opening up to your friend. Because if you can't open up to a friend, why are you guys friends in the first place!

Hope that helps, James! And remember folks, jump those railroads!

~Risk(y)