Shy? If so...so what?

Helllooooooo folks :)

Today's question comes from Timothy, via the nerdfighter thread

Timothy asks:

What do I do about being shy? (Even with girl friends)

Now, I'm assuming that Timothy meant "girls that are friends" as well as "girlfriends" so I'm going to answer this question on both accounts.

Now, with relationships (if you are a heterosexual boy), there are three types of girls*:

1. Girls-that-are-friends

2. Girls-that-are-friends-that-could-be-romantic

3. Girlfriends

The thing is, you really shouldn't be scared of talking to a person just because ze is of the gender that you are sexually attracted to. This is because people are people, and if you want to get to know a person because ze looks interesting, well, ze probably also considers you interesting as well. Everybody is always way too scared to make that first, initial, sometimes awkward move of: "Hi, how are you? My name is X, and I find you awesome."

I mean, breaking the ice is a hard task, but if you don't do it, it might never happen. And you might be stuck regretting it for the rest of your life.

This ideology, of taking the plunge in case you might regret something, should be applied to each of the three situations.

In case 1, why wouldn't you want to go up and talk to a person you find interesting? Shyness in that situation is generally because you don't want to seem like a creeper, and you don't want to get shot down. These are two situations that, while having some merit, are probably grossly exaggerated in your head. If you have observed this person enough so that you are interested in having hir as a friend, you are probably well within the Non-creepy zone. See, the zones look like this:



Now, if you are so into a girl that you are willing to break the ice with her, EVEN IF YOU ARE SHY, then you are probably in the "totally legit" section. Basically, "totally legit" means you have reason to believe you and her would get along swimmingly, and not because of some weird, idealized, "I Love You Beth Cooper" mojo**. I mean, you have obvious common interests and a legit reason for hanging around her so much***

So go up to her. Seriously, what's the worse that can happen? People that seem like cool people are generally upfront mean. She'll probably be way interested in you too.

Now, in the case of 2, that's also easy. Take the plunge. I've said it before, I'll say it again--if a person is really your friend, and you guys are definitely cool with each other, one date is not going to ruin the relationship.

Now, in terms of girlfriends--well, if a person is dating you, then you really shouldn't be shy around hir. You should be able to be open around your significant other, NO MATTER WHAT. Seriously. If you can't be open with hir, then why are you guys dating?

Anyways, Timothy, I hope that helps.

And remember folks, Jump Those Railroads!

xoxo,

Risk(y)

PS: Formspring form to your upper right! Please ask me questions there, or the nerdfighter thread, or even in the comments, below!

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*This list, of course, excludes girls that are related to you, as this is a dating blog, and you really shouldn't date your relatives...as this is just asking for federal prosecution, and/or genetic diseases like hemophilia.

**Seriously, that movie was really weird and creepy in parts and definitely, the main dude is in the definite, red creeper area.

***IE, classes, school, a job, or just some place you started going to a lot before you found out she went there too.