High School Never Really Ends

Sorry for the late update. I have actually JUST gotten home, and last night wasn't much better. Travelling in a car all day is one of those things that I will never get used to.

Anyways, today's question comes from Olivia, via the nerdfighter thread.

Olivia asks:

They say that most high school relationships don't last. Is that more because people change a lot between high school and adulthood so people they were suited for in high school didn't work so well with them later on, or is it more that similar numbers of college couples and post-college couples do/don't work out and we just focus on the high school numbers? I would think that it's a mixture of both, but I'd be interested to hear your thoughts. :)

OK, here's the deal with high school:

A lot of times, high school relationships are formed because you two are going to the same school, and any time people are thrown into a close-knit, extremely controlled environment, relationships tend to bloom where they wouldn't normally.* That being said, a lot of high school relationships are driven by convenience, as well as the extreme hormones high schoolers tend to feel.** So, of course, compatibility is often not something that is considered. As you get older, your reasoning in terms of getting into a relationship, and commitment, and hookups, well, I'm not saying that it gets BETTER, but I'm saying that it gets BIGGER. You think things through more once your hormones have stopped shouting "FALL IN LOVE AND PROCREATE WITH AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE AND NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER."

That being said, I know of a few high school relationships that have lasted for MUCH longer than many college relationships. Some people just mature quicker.

I also don't think that going to college automatically grants you this maturity pass. I know a lot of people who go into college thinking "I will meet my soul mate here. That is only to be expected."

This, of course, is ridiculous. College kids are crazy. I mean, bad life decisions are definitely NOT limited to high school. Just because you're living away from home now does NOT mean that you are suddenly (and magically) more adult than you were three months ago.

In fact, there's a lot more hook up culture in college (especially within the female community) than people tend to really consider at first. Personally, I know of very few people who are married/engaged and are still in college. I DO know of a few, but they are a very small minority.

There's really no magical age that people's relationships start lasting. Whether or not you're ready to commit is something very relative and should be considered logically and rationally.***

And, what's more, there's no magical age barrier where people suddenly become commitment-able. For some, it never happens.

I'm not saying that if you're in high school, you can't commit. What I'm saying is that at such an early juncture in your life****, you can't possibly be able to predict what the next five years will hold for you. That, combined with hormones, and a whole bunch of OTHER factors*****, well, it means that with such a free-form future, how can you say "forever"?

Part of committing is definitely knowing that five years down the line, you guys will still love each other. And if you don't know where you're going to be, location and economically, five years from now, how can you even tell?

So that's that. Don't give up hope of finding true love...but don't give up hope if you don't.

I hope that helps!

And remember folks, Jump Those Railroads!

xoxo,
Risk(Y)

PS: formspring form to your upper right. Use it!

PPS: Or, you know, leave me a message in the nerdfighter thread
or in the comments below.


__________________________________________________________________________
*This explains the frequency of summer camp relationships, as well as the Bachelor. How the hell do people fall in love on the Bachelor? Answer: because they aren't really expected, or allowed, to talk to anyone else.

**This comment really isn't meant to be offensive. What I'm trying to say is that when you've just gone through puberty/are going through puberty, your hormones are a tidal wave of activity.

***For example, if bot of you are still living at home and completely dependent on your parents, do you guys actually want to be married? Where will you guys live? Also, you should be able to pay for your own engagement ring. That type of thing. Just think things through.

****Also, see: hormones footnote.

*****Sexual discovery, much? Sexuality is fluid. You might be queer. Who knows? You might be straight. Again, who knows?