Top Ten BEST Nerdy Pickup Lines (and Pick up Lines in General)

Sorry, back after a week-long hiatus, due to a vacation that was sorely needed. But I'm back, and tanned, and bug bitten, but remarkably refreshed. That being said, here we go!

OK, so people tend to dis the Pickup Line. I mean, most are notoriously bad and are NEVER GOING TO WORK. The thing is, they aren't supposed to work--that's the whole point. Pickup Lines are conversation starters--they're not going to make sure you get laid; they're not there to suddenly make any boy/girl fall in love with you (and yes, women can TOTALLY use these too! Pickup Lines are AVAILABLE TO EITHER GENDER!). What a Pickup Line WILL do is make a person pause and look at you. Hopefully, they'll laugh. Laughter is key--A Sense of Humor is the #1 thing that people look for in a significant other. As long as you execute a Pickup Line with maximum confidence (but with minimal sleaze/sketchiness), you're good as gold. A good pickup artist isn't like that creepy guy Mystery from that trash-life (but still crazy addictive) VH1 show. Mystery was pretty much successful because he looked hot in a ponytail and a goatee and also, he had cameras following him around.

ANYWAYS. A pickup artist approaches with solid body language; if you're at a bar, or a coffee shop, the manner is the same. You walk up, one hand preferably holding something, the other casually at your side, your face looking DIRECTLY into the other person's eyes, and you deliver your line with a knowing smile that acknowledges the utter cheese of the pickup line. Do NOT try for any sort of Alan Rickman-like drawl of seduction If anyone BUT ALAN RICKMAN attempts this, it fails. Miserably. Sorry. With the exception, of course, of this.

I will say this, though. Even if it's not nerdy, honesty is probably the best you can ever do. Mix a little honesty with some humbleness, and you've got gold. Example? "I know it sounds cheesy, but when you walked in the door, I promised myself I'd say hello to you tonight. Hello!"

So, without further ado, my top ten favorite pickup lines (with a nerdy flair)

WARNING: THESE LINES, UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED, WOULD BE INCREDIBLY CREEPY IF THEY WERE THE FIRST THING YOU SAID TO A GIRL. A boy, oddly enough, would probably be fine if a girl or another boy were to open with any of these lines. Most girls would automatically think "RAPIST!" and get the hell away. Build up to them. Please. Prepare them with something along the lines of "so I'm a bit of a nerd, and I was reading this dating advice blog and they suggested these nerdy pickup lines, and I'm really at a loss as to how else to talk to you, so please bear with me?" and you'll totally hook them. The preface changes any of these lines from creepy to absolutely fucking adorable.

[ten]: I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves (nerdy, classic, very old)

[nine]: Hey baby, let's do some mathematics tonight. We can add a bed, divide the legs, subtract the clothes, and multiply.

[eight]: Hey baby, are you the square root of two? Because I'm irrational around you.

[seven]: Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.

[six]: If i was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?

[five]: Meet me behind the outcrop. I’m a little boulder there. (It's a geology nerdy pun).

[four]: Oman, could we invade Djibouti with Greece? (IR puns? anyone? anyone???)

[three]: Baby, life without you would be like a broken pencil: Pointless

[two]: I'm relativistic: the faster I go, the longer I last.

and, drum roll please, the number one (a tie):

[one]: Hey baby, wanna test the "K" of my bedsprings?
[one, again]: Hey baby, you must be a perfect square, because you're 36-25-36!


Love you all lots! Please click follow, and remember: Jump those rail roads! It's good luck in love!

~Risk(y)